Photo by SqueakyMarmot

A while back I wrote the article How to Thrift Like a Pro. Since then I have had several requests to do a follow up, and share some more tips for successful thrifting.

Every time I go into a thrift store now I make myself stop and think about my actions, which sections I hit up first, what I look for, when I shop, and why I do all these things! With these tips I hope you can all go out and find your own dirt cheap treasures!

♥ Compile a mental list of things you are looking for, but don’t be too specific. If you know ahead of time that you want a cardigan and a floral dress, diving into these sections at the thrift store will be much easier. However, don’t feel disappointed if you don’t find them, just keep them on the list for your next trip.

♥ Read the tag before you buy. If you aren’t willing to make regular trips to a dry cleaner and you won’t do more than throw the item in the machine then only purchase items that don’t require special care.

♥ Don’t buy for nostalgia. Did you just happen to stumble across the My Little Pony lunch box you carried in first grade? Just because it brings back memories doesn’t mean you need to own it again.

♥ Look in all sections. In the men’s section look for shirts that fit through the shoulders. Sleeves can be altered or rolled up to make it look more feminine. Want some great fitted shirts? Scan the children’s section for some amazing tees.

♥ Get creative. See an amazing print on a long skirt that you would never wear? Turn it into a strapless dress. Throw a belt around the waist, and you are set to go!

♥ Look for lengths. If you have long arms, you can quickly scan the jacket isle for the sleeves that hang down further than the rest. Looking for things that stick out saves time, and is a very easy way to zone in on things that fit. Scan the pants, skirts, and even shirts for longer lengths.

♥ Peek beneath the racks. Clothes fall off hangers all day long, and depending on the amount of staff, may not get cleaned up until the end of the day. Who knows what treasure may have slipped off its hanger and is hiding under the rack and away from sight.

♥ Don’t be afraid to stalk an item. Did you see the most incredible vintage woven granny purse across the room, but weren’t able to scoop it up fast enough? Keep your eye on whoever picked it up and see if they put it back. I am one of those people that load my cart with tons of things then before I go to check out I put back about 75% of it.

♥ Look for items that are not only your size, but larger than your size as well. A lot of clothes can easily be taken in a size or two.

♥ Don’t shop on a Monday. Weekends by far are the busiest days and quickly get picked over by shoppers. By Monday morning the store has a very low selection. Wait a day or two while they restock the store.

♥ Go with an open mind and no expectations. If you don’t expect to find a dress like the one you saw in the pages of Vogue, and you do find it, won’t that be a happy little surprise?

Now– go, go, go! Get to your local thrift store and start finding those great deals. Then report back here and tell us all about them!

xoxo,
Cedar

Photo by Hamed_Masoumi

This past weekend was a particularly sad one for my sister. One of her closest friends tragically died at the very young age of 21. While losing someone at any age is unfortunate, when they are as young as he was, you can’t help but think it was a mistake and ask yourself why something so awful could have happened to someone that brought so much joy into people’s lives.

When death occurs it is as if time stands still. We can’t focus on anything but our sadness, we can’t function as we normally would, and we can’t seem to grasp how life will go on without this very special person. Reminding yourself that things will get better while remembering the wonderful times you had together can be extremely difficult, but necessary in order to fully heal from this devastating loss.

♥ Allow yourself to grieve. What has happened is incredibly tragic, and you can’t deny yourself the natural emotions that come along with it. Everyone is affected by death in different ways. Someone else in the same situation could react completely different from you. If you feel the need to cry, cry. If you feel the need to scream, scream. If all you want to do is run for four miles until you fall over in exhaustion, do it, so long as you don’t hurt yourself. Let those emotions flow freely and unrestricted.

♥ Talk to people. In times of extreme sadness, you need to talk to friends or family more than ever. You have so many thoughts and emotions running through your brain during this time. Let everything off your chest. Don’t be afraid to share stories of the good times you had together. Sharing these things with others will help them better realize what they can do to help you in the healing process.

♥ Surround yourself with people who love and care about you. When someone you love passes, it is easy to get locked into the feeling of extreme loneliness. Having another person in the room can help fill that void, and reassure you that things are going to be ok. Even if you are in no mood to talk, the company of another person in your life will lesson the feelings of sadness and emptiness.

♥ Hug. Hug as much as you can. Hug as long as you can. Sometimes the only way that you can feel any sort of comfort is by being held in the arms of someone you care about and who understands what you are going through.

♥ Say goodbye. This one is especially important, and every single person will do it in their own way. Some will do it at the funeral, and others may not even attend the funeral, and do something completely different to let this person know how much they were loved. Write a little poem, put together a speech, or plant a tree in their honor. It is very important that in your own way you let them know how much having them in your life meant to you.

♥ If you need your privacy take it. If you don’t feel like talking or seeing anyone, take a day or more to yourself. If you aren’t ready to openly share your emotions yet, take the time alone and think about what has happened. Let others know that you appreciate their concern and support, but you need a small amount of time to reflect upon what has happened before they can help you. You will be surprised at how many people jump in at times like this and offer their support.

♥ Do not blame yourself. In certain situations it can be very easy to think that you could have done or said something differently to prevent this tragedy. Accidents of all sorts occur every single day, and while most are not as heart wrenching as an accidental death, there is no way to prepare for one, or predict death as an outcome.

♥ Make a journal or scrap book dedicated to this person. Write everything that comes to mind about them. Write how much you loved them, write about the time you went to the zoo together, write about your late night philosophical conversations, and write about how you met for the first time. Over time fill the book with all the wonderful memories the two of you shared together. Collect pictures you took together and paste them between the pages. Every time you have a new thought, write it down. Leave the book out, so that whenever you feel you really miss the person, you can go reread it, ad to it, and remember what joy they brought into your life.

♥ Take care of yourself. In times of extreme sadness and pain it is easy to forget about ourselves, and go on without taking proper care of our bodies. Making sure that you get enough food and sleep every day is vital in helping your body and mind feel better. As hard as it may be to stomach even a few bites of food, it is so important that you do. Order take out, prepare easy to cook frozen meals, or have friends drop by with food, so the stress of finding something to eat is not what is keeping you from eating. If sleeping at night is difficult take afternoon naps. Lay with your eyes shut, and try as hard as you can to clear your mind. Eventually your body will respond.

♥ Do not rely on drugs or alcohol to help you through tough times. As hard as it is dealing with the death of a loved one, self medicating ourselves to relieve the pain is not the answer. Not only is it bad on our bodies, but it pushes the feelings back, when we really need to be facing them head on. Once you come to your senses again, you will still have to deal with the pain and loneliness that losing someone brings.

♥ Realize that not everyone fully understands what you are going through. Find those people that you can talk to openly about what has happened, but don’t hold it against those who don’t know how to comfort you. It may seem as though someone doesn’t care, or that they view this as insignificant because of their reactions. Don’t hold it against them, not everyone has had such a significant loss, and many people just don’t know how to help someone in this situation.

♥ If over a great length of time you are still unable to function, and can not seem to get back into your normal routine, it is best to seek professional help.

Every single person handles death in a different way. Doing what feels right to you, while continuing to take good care of yourself is the most important thing. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask others for their help or their company. The healing process takes time, but each and every one of us have the strength to get through it. Feel proud to have known such a very important person, you have a head full of wonderful memories, which now one else has, treasure them fondly.

xoxo,
Cedar

Photo by Perfecto Insecto

With the whirlwind of things to do, it often isn’t until long after the move that one starts feeling the emotional symptoms caused by moving. Uprooting your entire life, and starting from scratch is one of the most difficult struggles one will have to face in their life. Getting situated and used to a new house, job, and school, while at the same time coping with loneliness, and trying to meet new people, can be exhausting and extremely difficult. Staying positive and making a real effort to become a part of the community will make the transition much easier.

♥ Unpacking. When it comes to unpacking get it done, but don’t make yourself sick over it. Set yourself goals to get done on a daily and weekly basis. Until it is finished do a regular amount of unpacking every day. Allow yourself time each day to relax, and do some things that will take your mind off the move and eliminate stress.

♥ Make your new house your home. If your landlord permits paint the walls. Hang up photos and artwork. Begin personalizing your home as soon as you get there. At the end of the day, when you feel lost, sad, or lonely, returning to a home that reflects who you are, and is filled with the things you love is the least you can do for yourself to feel more comfortable.

♥ Pick up where you left off in your old home. Were you half way through a novel before you left? Do you do yoga every morning before breakfast? Do you have only one sleeve left to knit on the sweater you are making? Unpack these things first and work on them in between spurts of unpacking your home. Doing things that you would have done in your old home, will not only help you relax, but also aid in making your new house feel like home.

♥ Make friends. This is probably the hardest part of a move for anyone. As children we were able to make friends with everyone on the playground simply by joining them in a game of tag. As adults it is much more difficult. Our personalities and interests have developed and finding others who’s interests compliment ours is much more difficult. The only way to really start making friends is by getting involved in activities, and getting out there. Yes, it may be easier to sit around the house watching reruns of The Office, but by taking a risk and striking up conversations or complimenting people around you, you are one step closer to a potential new friend.

♥ Get Active. As soon as you get to your new destination start getting out in the community. Enroll in a dance class at the local community college, join a gym, or go to art openings. Not only will this take your mind off the stress of your move, but will most likely speed up the process of making friends. Look for a free local publication that lists events in the community. Look for fliers for shows when you stop in to get coffee in the morning. Look on Craigslist for weekend events, and search Yelp for good music venues. Find a place you like, and become a regular there. Over time friendships will naturally develop.

♥ Get to know your new town. Spend time every day becoming more well acquainted with your new surroundings, the local movie theatre, where the closest park is, what streets are dead ends, etc. Get in the car, and drive around various neighborhoods. Don’t be afraid to get lost. I find that I learn the most about a city when I do get lost. Use the luxuries of the internet to help you find establishments that interest you. Look up all the coffee shops or sushi restaurants in your area, then do a drive by with each one on your list.

♥ Stay in regular contact with friends and family back home. Write emails, talk on the phone, and send snail mail. Make it a point to talk to family and close friends at least once a week. If you get free weekend minutes on your phone plan this is a great time to take advantage of them, while at the same time catching up with loved ones. If sudden bursts of loneliness come on, don’t hesitate to call up someone you miss, and tell them how you are feeling.

♥ Start planning a visit home. By planning a date of when you will return back for a visit you will greatly eliminate the initial shock of leaving. Letting others know when you are going to see them next will give you and them something to look forward to.

♥ Start a blog devoted to your new life. Take pictures of your journey to your new home and write a short entry every day. Post photos from when you painted the walls, the mess of boxes in your living room, and how it gradually comes together. Write about how much you miss having lunch on Fridays with your cousin. Before you leave give out the address to all your friends and family so they can follow along and comment on everything you are doing.

Ok now it is your turn, to those of you who have made a big move, what has helped you the most during the transition into your new home and life? What advice would you give someone who is making a huge move for the first time in her life?

xoxo,
Cedar

Photo by Ben30

So many people are intimidated by the idea of having guests over. When one mentions dinner party an image of slaving away in front of a hot stove for an entire evening comes to mind. If you are one of these folks, I suggest having a tapas party!

For those unfamiliar with tapas, they are a small Spanish dishes, brought to the table, and shared by everyone. Not only is the food spectacular, but the sharing of all the platters creates a warm intimate setting for you and your guests to enjoy.

Food

Naturally, the most important part of a tapas party is the food. The wonderful thing about making tapas is that most everything can be made ahead of time and there is very minimal cooking after the guests arrive. Tapas are meant to be served in bite sized portions. All the platters you fix should be similar in size to an appetizer you would order in a restaurant or you would snack on at a cocktail party.

What makes for good tapas? Marinated olives are an absolute must, and all the work that you do is go to the store! Tapenade with bread or crackers is a delicious choice that can be made the day before, and stored in the fridge. Par Boiling potatoes before hand, then pan frying them right before eating is a quick and tasty choice, that can be served alongside a dipping sauce. Meat or vegetables on skewers make cooking time quick, as the pieces are so small. Just remember when planning your menu; guests should not need to use a knife, and platters should be easy to share.

Black Olive Tapenade

• 10 cloves garlic
• 1/2 cup lemon juice
• 1 (10 ounce) can black olives, drained
• 1 cup chopped parsley
• 1 tablespoon chopped basil
• 1 1/3 cup walnuts
• 3/4 cup olive oil

1. In a food processor add all ingredients. Grind until it is a finely ground paste.
2. Serve with toasted baguette slices and crackers.

Chorizo Rioja Tapas
Recipe from Recipezaar.

• 1 1/2 pound good quality chorizo
• 8 ounces rioja wine
• 5 black peppercorns
• 3 dried bay leaves
• Flat leaf parsley for serving

1. Prick the sausage all over and place in a dish.
2. Pour the wine over sausages and add peppercorns and bay leaves. Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours.
3. Drain the chorizo sausage and cook them on a well oiled, medium-hot griddle pan for about 6 minutes each side, or until evenly browned and crispy.
4. Slice the sausage thickly and at an angle. Arrange on a serving platter.

For some more wonderful authentic tapas recipes check out Spain-Recipes and Tapas-Recipes.

Drink
Drinks are just as important as the food at any dinner party. Having some nice Spanish wine available for your guests is the perfect compliment to your bite sized meal. Check out this simple guide to Spanish wines for some very helpful information on choosing a wine.

If you really want to go all out, make your guests a nice big pitcher of Sangria. It is tasty, refreshing, and a great way to get the conversations rolling. Just make sure your guests aren’t planning on driving home for a while!

Sangria
Be warned, I like my Sangria strong. A little bit goes a very long way! If you prefer a little less alcohol, omit the white rum and brandy.

Ingredients:

• 1 bottle red wine, I use a Cabernet
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup white rum
• 1/2 cup spiced rum
• 1/2 cup brandy
• 1 star anise pod
• 1/2 stick cinnamon
• 3 various fruits sliced into wedges or rings. I like using oranges, nectarines, lemons, limes, peaches, plus or grapes.

1. In large punch bowl or a large pitcher, add sliced fruits and sugar. Muddle with a wooden spoon to bring out juices.
2. Add remaining ingredients and refrigerate for at least two hours. Serve with slices of fruit in glasses.

On the Table

A tapas party does not require a formal table setting, but rather a bunch of small plates, some forks, perhaps even toothpicks. Much of the food will be eaten with fingers, so having plenty of paper napkins, or some nice cloth napkins is a necessity.

For decorations, keep it simple. A few candles, and a small vase with some sprigs of rosemary in it are great for setting atmosphere.

Music

You may already know what you and your guests would like to hear over your dinner. However, if you are going for a more authentic Spanish tapas party you will need to have some Spanish guitar or flamenco music. I suggest downloading Pepe Romero, Carlos Montoya, Paco Pena, Sabicas, or Sabu Martinez. Your guests will really be blown away by how much work you put into your dinner party!

Photo by Ben30

So darlings, phone up your friends and start planning your menu. Tapas parties are so fun with minimal effort on your part. Guests get a chance to enjoy a new eating experience while sitting in an intimate setting and enjoying good conversation. What could be better than that?

xoxo,
Cedar

 

Photo by DerrickT

We all know the following scenario, probably entirely to well. The alarm goes off, you hit the snooze button five times, before finally rolling out of bed, and rush to get ready, risking being late to your destination. An hour and two cups of coffee later you are still feeling groggy. Your attention lingers as you work, and you feel grumpy and irritable. All you can think about is getting home and vegging out on the couch.

With all the things we need to do in a day, not having enough energy to finish all of our tasks, or feeling grumpy and tired when we do, is the last way we want to spend our day. Everyone deserves a good nights sleep, so we can all feel like our fabulous selves, while doing some of the less than fabulous chores we need to do.

I for one have a terrible time falling asleep some nights. Though I know what I should and shouldn’t in order to get a good nights rest, I often don’t think about it until the next day when I have red puffy eyes, feel crabby, and don’t feel like getting ready for my day. So these tips are inspiration for me, and hopefully you as well, to get your zzz’s to have the necessary energy to get through the day.

♥ No alcohol close to bed time. Yes, it is entirely too easy to fall asleep (or pass out rather) when you are plum drunk, however, you know the feeling the next morning, not a nice one. Besides running a chance of being hungover in the morning, having even one or two glasses of wine near bedtime, can raise your heart rate, and make it much more difficult to fall asleep. Have your drink at least an hour before you get into bed, and your chances of falling asleep fast will increase greatly.

♥ Exercise. This is probably a no brainer, but getting at least twenty minutes of good exercise a day really can help you fall asleep quicker, rest more soundly, and feel refreshed when you wake up in the morning. This is probably the single thing that can make the biggest impact on your sleep. A short jog in the afternoon, or a walk around your neighborhood in the evening will make it so hitting the snooze button first thing in the morning is not even an option.

♥ Change your diet. Give up fast food, and other foods that have a lot of unnatural preservatives in them. Get your daily amount of fruits, veggies, grains, proteins, and dairy. Sticking with all natural foods, will not only keep your body looking good, but also give you a good nights rest.

♥ Use night lights. If you wake up during the night to get a glass of water, or to use the potty, turning the overhead lights on may mean that you will have a much more difficult time falling asleep upon returning to bed.

♥ Start forming a regular schedule. Set your alarm for the same time every day, and get up when it goes off- the first time! On the same note, hope into bed around the same time every night. It may be a bit difficult to adjust at first, and you will most likely continue to feel tired for a few days, but by setting your body on certain time schedule, will help you get more restful nights in the long run.

♥ If you are having a really difficult time falling asleep, try taking a hot bath before falling asleep. The warm water will relax your muscles, and ease the tension in your body.

♥ Try to finish all your daily tasks on time, with a little bit of time to relax before bedtime. If you still have a long list of things you need to do when you get under the covers, your brain is going to be working over time, thinking about what you need to do the next day and what didn’t get done that day. Finish all that you can at least thirty minutes before bedtime, and then sit down with a hot cup of decaffeinated tea (absolutely no caffeine!). Your body and mind both need time to unwind before you can even think about falling asleep.

♥ Try some soothing music, or a mellow movie if you can’t seem to get the shut eye. If I am having a hard time falling asleep, I always pop in an animated Disney movie. Something about it just makes me feel relaxed, and I fall asleep incredibly quickly.

So my dears, what other tips do you have to help out on those restless nights so that you are guaranteed to feel rejuvenated in the morning??

xoxo,
Cedar

I am such a huge Wes Anderson fan. I love all his movies, from Bottle Rocket, to his most recent, The Darjeeling Limited. However, the one that seems to stick with me the most, and I find myself watching repeatedly would have to be The Royal Tenenbaums. Between it’s incredible color balance, the perfect soundtrack, and the quirky characters, there isn’t anything about this film that I don’t love. I even read the screenplay once or twice, because I love the story so much!

Well naturally Margot’s off beat sense of style has always fascinated me. It is so eclectic, but completely natural on Gwyneth Paltrow’s character. Everyone should have a Margot outfit in their closet!

Coat, Bag, Dress, Shoes

♥ Hair should be cropped, just above the shoulders, stick straight, and with no layers. Part heavily on one side, and pin with a bobby pin or other clip.

♥ Makeup should be heavy black eyeliner lining the upper and lower lid. Lipstick should be a pale pink color.

♥ Striped polo dresses with a large fur (or faux) coat are the way to go as far as clothes. If you can’t find striped, solid colors will do, but striped is really best.

♥ Shoes and bag should be slightly old fashioned looking, and a little reminiscent of styles you would see in the 1920’s.

♥ Wrist length white gloves, with the ring finger cut off at the knuckle on the right glove….that is if you are really serious about looking like Margot!

xoxo,
Cedar

Photo by Henry Clarke from Agent Lee

As you all know by now, I am a complete vintage clothes fiend. Something about how well the items were made, and how tailored and classy the pieces look, is so much more special to me than clothes you find in the shops nowadays.

Naturally these older pieces require special care, so they can keep living their long, and glorious lives. Care for these items is generally quite simple, once you know what should, and shouldn’t be done. So with a few pointers, I hope you will all take good care of these precious pieces of fashion history.

Buying:

♥ If the garment came from a thrift store where they staple the price tags, first of all shame on them, but it does happen. Carefully, using a butter knife, open up each side of the staple. Do not assume that it is open enough and try to weasel it out of the garment.

♥ If the item feels a bit snug, don’t buy it. These items are already more delicate than new items, and it would be a travesty to tear a hole when bending over to pick something up, or when getting in or out of a car.

Wearing:

♥ Always pull dresses over your head, never step into them, unless they have an elastic waist or you are 100% sure they will go over your hips with ease.

♥ Please, please, please don’t wear vintage if you are going out for spaghetti dinner, or any other event that can get messy.

♥ If at all unsure of the condition of the garment, do not wear it. Some items are so old and fragile, they belong in a museum rather than on a body.

Cleaning:

♥ If you have no clue on what the fabric is, get it dry cleaned! Find a good dry cleaner in your area, who knows how to handle and care for vintage and antique clothing.

♥ Fabrics that should be dry cleaned are acetate, crepes, knits, linens, rayon, satins, silks, suede, taffetas, velvets, and anything with wool.

♥ For fabrics that do not require dry cleaning, hand washing is the second best option, though some garments (depending on age and fabric of course) may be washed on gentle cycle in the machine.

♥ Wear your item several times before having it washed. Clothing doesn’t need to be washed after every use unless it is truly dirty, and I sure hope that you are not working out or doing house chores in vintage clothes.

♥ If you do happen to get a stain, treat immediately. Stains set in over time, so don’t put off taking it to the cleaner. It is best to do a small test area on the inside lining of a garment, before trying to remove the stain- just to make sure you don’t create more damage than is already done.

♥ If your vintage clothing smells musty, do not use Febreeze to get rid of the smell. Dry cleaning should get the smell out.

♥ Stains such as armpits sweat or rust are incredibly difficult to get out, and are better left to a professional.

Storing:

♥ Always keep vintage items out of sunlight. In the same respect, don’t store in an area that gets extremely hot.

♥ Don’t leave an item folded for an extended amount of time (say, several months). Over time creases can become permanent. It is good to take the pieces out once in a while, and refold them.

♥ Do not hand knit items on hangers. Over time these items tend to sag due to the weight. Instead fold them.

♥ Never, ever, ever store vintage items in plastic bags, or boxes. Plastic is unbreathable for the items, and the chemicals in the fabrics respond poorly to it.

♥ There is a bit of a debate whether to store with or without mothballs. On one hand, it keeps pests away, on the other hand, it can leave your clothing with a funky odor, that may or may not come out. You be the judge.

♥ Buy padded hangers for your vintage items. These are much more delicate items, you will want to spend the extra money so as not to leave creases in the shoulders, and over time destroy the garment. No matter what, DO NOT, I can’t stress this one enough, use wire hangers. You may as well just throw your vintage dress on the floor in a ball with the dirty laundry….

♥ Make sure that if you are storing your hats or clothing with paper or in cardboard boxes that it is acid free. The acidity can destroy vintage items in no time. If you can find acid free boxes, this is one of the best ways for storing antiques clothing.

So my dears, I hope you will all take wonderful care of your precious vintage pieces. Most of these items are one of a kind, and with your love and care can still have a very long life ahead of them.

xoxo,
Cedar

Photo by Zophos

A short while ago, one of my dear readers sent me a sweet little note requesting that I write an article on how to feel less concerned about feeling nerdy.

This question is very near and dear to my heart, as I spent many years feeling exactly the same way. I was always an awkward kid, and as I started to mature a bit more, I become an even more awkward teenager. I was painfully shy, and had only a single friend for many, many years. I spent a lot of my free time locked behind books, and as soon as computers started becoming household items, I spent all my time staring at the computer screen. While there really is nothing wrong with the way I was, I always felt embarrassed and unsure of everything I was doing.

While I had many of the same interests then as I do now, at that time I felt that my interests were so different from anyone else’s, and the last thing I wanted was to be further separated from my peers. However it is only now looking back that I realize that the more I tried to fit in with others, and change myself, the less happy I was, and the less people liked me.

All that being said, I learned the long and slow way about gaining confidence, and learning to feel comfortable with who I am. Naturally, feeling confidence in yourself is something that takes time to attain, and you probably won’t realize until much later when you finally get it.

♥ Stop trying to change yourself. Each and every one of us has our own set of interests, beliefs, and values. No two people are exactly alike, and that is the beauty of life. These days it seems so easy to get sucked into popular culture, and with what is being played on the radio or television, people are in a way expected to like a certain demographic of interests. If none of those things being broad casted to you peek your interest, let it go. Let your uniqueness shine through. Be the only girl on your block who prefers music from her parent’s (or grandparent’s!) era to her own!

♥ Learn to accept your failures. So maybe you aren’t the best artist, failed your last test, or have had the worst of luck in the relationship department. Don’t let it get the best of you. Rather than pushing those things away from you, or feeling embarrassed or ashamed by them, it is good to recognize what went wrong, and learn from your failure. Using that information can help you do better in the future, and gain confidence in what you are doing.

♥ Realize that each and every person alive has their own set of insecurities. Whether it is in the way they look, or their lack of certain skills, or just an all over lack of self esteem, these insecurities usually stem from past failures. By realizing that others have their own insecurities about image, it is easier to view ourselves as equals to those around us.

♥ Act like a confidant person. Even if you are not quite there yet, pretend to be confident, as much and as often as you can. Tell yourself in the morning, “today I am going to act with as much confidence as so and so has”, and start by doing your tasks as well as you can, without doubt, and unafraid to take risks. With your new confidence (even if it is faked), people will likely start to treat you with a new sense of respect, and with enough practice, this confidence will start becoming more natural, and less forced.

♥ Spend a bit of extra time in the morning on yourself. Take ten extra minutes, carefully plan out your outfit, play with your makeup, or curl the ends of your hair. This isn’t to say you don’t look good already, but by putting even more energy into how you look, and feeling that much better about your hair, makeup, or all over style, will give you an extra boost of confidence. While we all say image isn’t everything, we also know that we tend to feel better about ourselves when we look fantastic on the outside.

♥ Get involved and be active. By joining groups or clubs that focus on things you love to do, all your concentration will be on what is going on in the moment, not allowing yourself time to think negatively about yourself. Allow yourself to do things you like, even if they are considered ‘nerdy’ to some. Join the book club, or a local knitting group. Not only will you be able to make incredible friends that way, but sharing interests with others and knowing there are others ‘like you’ will be a big esteem boost.

♥ The most important, and definitely hardest part of feeling more confident about yourself as a person is learning to love yourself. This can easily become a life long struggle, but by realizing that this is what you want to accomplish, will make your goal one step closer. For more on learning to love yourself, read my article; How to Gain Confidence and Learn to Love Yourself.

In my opinion nerdy girls are the cutest girls. I say, take advantage of it, and go all out geek-girl style!

What things have helped you in the past in feeling more confidence in your image? What have you learned over the years, that you wish you would have known about how to feel more comfortable in your own skin??

xoxo,
Cedar

A while back I was commissioned by a friend who is in a local burlesque troupe to make her some pasties. As they go for upward of $20 a pair in a boutique, she had me start designing some for her, which ended up costing only a fraction of the price charged in shops.

With a little bit of experimenting, I found out that it really was incredibly easy, and definitely not worth shelling out the extra cash.

What you will need:
♥ A sheet of craft foam
♥ Pen
♥ A roll of sequins
♥ Craft glue
♥ Toothpick
♥ Scissors
♥ Clippies or bobby pins
♥ Tassels (optional)
♥ Hole puncher and hammer
♥ 2 Plastic beads
♥ Needle and thread

1. Find a glass that is roughly the size you want your pasties to be. Do note that it will be just slightly smaller than the rim of the glass when completed.

2. On your foam, trace the rim of the glass twice.

3. Cut out your two circles.

4. Placing one on top of the other, cut halfway into the circle.

5. Apply craft glue to one side of the cut.

6. Apply craft glue to the second pasty.

7. Overlap dry side of the cut onto glue. With clippies or bobby pins secure in place, and allow time to dry.

8. After dried, use a hole puncher to punch a hole in the center of your pasties. If you don’t want to attach tassels, skip this step.

9. Apply glue to pasty using a toothpick. Carefully start winding the sequins around, being careful not to twist them.

10. I usually add glue to small sections at a time, so that I can still hold onto them, without making a complete mess.

11. Once fully sequined allow time to dry. Then trim off any extra sequins that may be hanging off either end of the strand. If you didn’t want tassels, then you are finished!

12. Pull the tassel through the hole in the center.

13. Make sure your bead is large enough that it cannot squeeze through the hole. With thread and needle sew bead to end of tassel.

14. Tie through a few times, to make sure your bead anchor is secure.

15. Trim remaining thread.

16. Twirl, twirl, twirl!

Please note that the girl in the video gets down to her undies and pasties, so probably not best to watch if at work, or under 18.xoxo,
Cedar

PS To attach them, the lovely Miss Martini Bombshell suggests using a strong double stick tape such as toupee tape, found in wig stores.

Photo by Alone…

We all know at least one person in our lives who is a complete Negative Nelly. Whether they are complaining about the weather, bitching about their weight gain, or making snide remarks about your choices, everything in their life is horrible, and everyone else needs to feel their pain. As nice as it would be to sometimes to write them off completely, a lot of times that is not possible.

If it is someone near and dear to you, helping them to become happier is probably incredibly important to you. Before you can even make headway however, this negative person needs to know that their outlook is affecting themselves, and those around them.

♥ Let them know in the nicest way possible. Sit them down when you have some time to talk, and tell them how much you care for them, but that it is very hard to listen to all their negativity. Tell them what an awesome person they are and that they deserve to feel happy all the time. Let them know that you truly want the best for them (and for you!).

♥ Encourage positive activities or changes in the person. If they seem to show a little interest in the knitting group you go to once a week, invite them along. If they start finding things they do like, then odds are they will be happier all around.

♥ Negative Nellies tend to gossip a lot. In their mind, talking smack about others makes them feel validated, and can heal their own insecurities. If they start to say bad things about others to you, kindly tell them you would rather not talk about that person in such a harsh way, and move on immediately. Let them know you don’t gossip, and don’t want to hear any of it whatsoever. With no one to tell it to, they have no choice but to stop!

♥ Every time this person says something negative, reply to them with something positive about their situation. For example, if your sad cousin Sally always says something like, “Ugggh, I am so ugly, no boys ever like me,” you can respond by saying something like, “oh hush, if you were so ugly would people always compare you to Natalie Portman? She doesn’t have a boyfriend either”. This will help them think about their situation differently, and with enough practice they may start thinking that way about things on their own.

♥ Ignore it. There are times when this is the only thing that can be done. Put up a wall and tell yourself, the only reason they are making me unhappy is because they are unhappy. Remind yourself of that every time they start bringing you down, just repeat; “I will not let their attitude affect my day” until it works.

♥ No matter how upset you get with this person, do not argue with or insult them. This will only further provoke their negative outlook on things.

♥ Be your happy and loving self. Talk positively about your life and activities to them, even when you talk of negative subjects. In your own way show them that you have been in poor situations as well, and that it has made you a better person today. Once they see how happy you are, and that it is possible to learn from their misfortunes, rather than harbor the sadness, they may want to try to find their own happiness.