How to Feel Comfortable in Your Skin

Photo by Zophos

A short while ago, one of my dear readers sent me a sweet little note requesting that I write an article on how to feel less concerned about feeling nerdy.

This question is very near and dear to my heart, as I spent many years feeling exactly the same way. I was always an awkward kid, and as I started to mature a bit more, I become an even more awkward teenager. I was painfully shy, and had only a single friend for many, many years. I spent a lot of my free time locked behind books, and as soon as computers started becoming household items, I spent all my time staring at the computer screen. While there really is nothing wrong with the way I was, I always felt embarrassed and unsure of everything I was doing.

While I had many of the same interests then as I do now, at that time I felt that my interests were so different from anyone else’s, and the last thing I wanted was to be further separated from my peers. However it is only now looking back that I realize that the more I tried to fit in with others, and change myself, the less happy I was, and the less people liked me.

All that being said, I learned the long and slow way about gaining confidence, and learning to feel comfortable with who I am. Naturally, feeling confidence in yourself is something that takes time to attain, and you probably won’t realize until much later when you finally get it.

♥ Stop trying to change yourself. Each and every one of us has our own set of interests, beliefs, and values. No two people are exactly alike, and that is the beauty of life. These days it seems so easy to get sucked into popular culture, and with what is being played on the radio or television, people are in a way expected to like a certain demographic of interests. If none of those things being broad casted to you peek your interest, let it go. Let your uniqueness shine through. Be the only girl on your block who prefers music from her parent’s (or grandparent’s!) era to her own!

♥ Learn to accept your failures. So maybe you aren’t the best artist, failed your last test, or have had the worst of luck in the relationship department. Don’t let it get the best of you. Rather than pushing those things away from you, or feeling embarrassed or ashamed by them, it is good to recognize what went wrong, and learn from your failure. Using that information can help you do better in the future, and gain confidence in what you are doing.

♥ Realize that each and every person alive has their own set of insecurities. Whether it is in the way they look, or their lack of certain skills, or just an all over lack of self esteem, these insecurities usually stem from past failures. By realizing that others have their own insecurities about image, it is easier to view ourselves as equals to those around us.

♥ Act like a confidant person. Even if you are not quite there yet, pretend to be confident, as much and as often as you can. Tell yourself in the morning, “today I am going to act with as much confidence as so and so has”, and start by doing your tasks as well as you can, without doubt, and unafraid to take risks. With your new confidence (even if it is faked), people will likely start to treat you with a new sense of respect, and with enough practice, this confidence will start becoming more natural, and less forced.

♥ Spend a bit of extra time in the morning on yourself. Take ten extra minutes, carefully plan out your outfit, play with your makeup, or curl the ends of your hair. This isn’t to say you don’t look good already, but by putting even more energy into how you look, and feeling that much better about your hair, makeup, or all over style, will give you an extra boost of confidence. While we all say image isn’t everything, we also know that we tend to feel better about ourselves when we look fantastic on the outside.

♥ Get involved and be active. By joining groups or clubs that focus on things you love to do, all your concentration will be on what is going on in the moment, not allowing yourself time to think negatively about yourself. Allow yourself to do things you like, even if they are considered ‘nerdy’ to some. Join the book club, or a local knitting group. Not only will you be able to make incredible friends that way, but sharing interests with others and knowing there are others ‘like you’ will be a big esteem boost.

♥ The most important, and definitely hardest part of feeling more confident about yourself as a person is learning to love yourself. This can easily become a life long struggle, but by realizing that this is what you want to accomplish, will make your goal one step closer. For more on learning to love yourself, read my article; How to Gain Confidence and Learn to Love Yourself.

In my opinion nerdy girls are the cutest girls. I say, take advantage of it, and go all out geek-girl style!

What things have helped you in the past in feeling more confidence in your image? What have you learned over the years, that you wish you would have known about how to feel more comfortable in your own skin??

xoxo,
Cedar

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