Photo by Alone…
We all know at least one person in our lives who is a complete Negative Nelly. Whether they are complaining about the weather, bitching about their weight gain, or making snide remarks about your choices, everything in their life is horrible, and everyone else needs to feel their pain. As nice as it would be to sometimes to write them off completely, a lot of times that is not possible.
If it is someone near and dear to you, helping them to become happier is probably incredibly important to you. Before you can even make headway however, this negative person needs to know that their outlook is affecting themselves, and those around them.
♥ Let them know in the nicest way possible. Sit them down when you have some time to talk, and tell them how much you care for them, but that it is very hard to listen to all their negativity. Tell them what an awesome person they are and that they deserve to feel happy all the time. Let them know that you truly want the best for them (and for you!).
♥ Encourage positive activities or changes in the person. If they seem to show a little interest in the knitting group you go to once a week, invite them along. If they start finding things they do like, then odds are they will be happier all around.
♥ Negative Nellies tend to gossip a lot. In their mind, talking smack about others makes them feel validated, and can heal their own insecurities. If they start to say bad things about others to you, kindly tell them you would rather not talk about that person in such a harsh way, and move on immediately. Let them know you don’t gossip, and don’t want to hear any of it whatsoever. With no one to tell it to, they have no choice but to stop!
♥ Every time this person says something negative, reply to them with something positive about their situation. For example, if your sad cousin Sally always says something like, “Ugggh, I am so ugly, no boys ever like me,” you can respond by saying something like, “oh hush, if you were so ugly would people always compare you to Natalie Portman? She doesn’t have a boyfriend either”. This will help them think about their situation differently, and with enough practice they may start thinking that way about things on their own.
♥ Ignore it. There are times when this is the only thing that can be done. Put up a wall and tell yourself, the only reason they are making me unhappy is because they are unhappy. Remind yourself of that every time they start bringing you down, just repeat; “I will not let their attitude affect my day” until it works.
♥ No matter how upset you get with this person, do not argue with or insult them. This will only further provoke their negative outlook on things.
♥ Be your happy and loving self. Talk positively about your life and activities to them, even when you talk of negative subjects. In your own way show them that you have been in poor situations as well, and that it has made you a better person today. Once they see how happy you are, and that it is possible to learn from their misfortunes, rather than harbor the sadness, they may want to try to find their own happiness.
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Adiel says:
Great advice! I’ll have to put these tips to work asap!
March 4th, 2008 at 7:49 am