The job of a hostess is a hard one. They are going out of their way to accommodate you, and do not want to feel that they are being taken advantage of, or that you are not appreciative of all they have done.
The job of a good guest is difficult as well. Learning to pick up cues that it is time to go home, or showing up with the right gift takes a bit of practice. Small things you do to help out a stressed out hostess can make a huge difference, and make her want to throw another shin dig in the near future.
When invited to dinner:
♥ Know what time you are to be there, and what time dinner is being served. Do not be late to this or you will keep others waiting, the food will get cold, and you probably wont be invited back for another dinner party.
♥ It is nice to bring your host a small something in appreciation. A bottle of wine does quite nicely for this. You can also offer to bring a dessert or something when you are invited.
♥ If you do bring a bottle of wine, and it isn’t finished by the time dinner is over do not bring it home.
♥ Pay attention towards the end of the night to cues that the host would like you to leave. If after an hour of talking around the table you see him start clearing the table and doing dishes, odds are this is his signal to you that it’s time to get going. Don’t be offended, he’s probably just tired. Offer to help, and then say your goodbyes.
When Invited to a Party:
♥ When invited make sure to ask if there is anything you can bring. Suggest an appetizer or a bottle of liqueur even if you know they host will decline your offer.
♥ Do not be the first to arrive or the last to leave. In other words, don’t show up early, and don’t overstay your welcome. Your host will most likely be very busy preparing things, and those last few minutes are very crucial to him or her. Also, don’t keep your hostess up long after all the other guests have left. She is probably pooped, and wants to either clean up, or go to bed.
♥ Do not eat them out of house and home. It is customary to have a light dinner before any party, other than a dinner party. If you come with the munchies, and chow down all the appetizers without considering others, it is most likely that guests and most of all the hostess will extremely irritated.
♥ Please don’t get waisted. Yes, it may be a cocktail party, but the purpose is to savor your drinks and enjoy the company. Don’t jump on the table and start doing the PeeWee Herman dance, don’t try to flirt with the hostess’s boyfriend behind her back, and as funny as it may seem don’t get so drunk you either remove articles of clothing, or need to vomit.
When staying overnight:
♥ Do not ask your host to cook your breakfast. Also, do not crash on the couch until 7 that evening. Though this sounds completely obvious, it has actually happened to me!
♥ Unless your host invites you to stay for lunch, or asks if you want to go grab some breakfast somewhere, it is usually best to get out of her hair soon after waking up. If she offers to make pancakes, then feel free to stay and do help clean up once breakfast is done.
♥ Be ok with sleeping on a couch, or on a small mattress on the floor. If it is only an overnight stay. Your host may not be accustomed to having people stay over.
When staying for an extended visit:
♥ If you don’t have a car, don’t expect to be driven around everywhere. When your host or hostess asks you what you would like to do over your vacation, mention the things you would like to do or see
♥ Offer to help out with house chores on a daily basis. If you are in town for a week or so, a lot needs to be done around a house, and with extra bodies, there is even more to do. Help do dishes, take out the trash, or sweep the floor.
♥ Help do the cooking, or offer to pay for dinner at least once. They deserve it for their kind hospitality.
♥ Do not surprise your host with an extra week.
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Bec says:
Great article Cedar!
The worst experience like this I had was when a friend was staying with me for a week (which turned into three) she would tell me that she was going somewhere else for three days so I wouldn’t expect her then she would show up just before dinner time. One night I was making stuffed chicken for my boyfriend and I and she showed up and went mmm whats for dinner smells great, there were two pieces and she knew that, I ended up giving her one piece and my boyfriend the other and just eating pasta myself and she still didn’t get the hint and apologise for her rudeness.
Never let her stay again after that.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:13 pm
MissCedar says:
February 27th, 2008 at 10:21 pm